It seems like there is this feeling when you're tripping and you're around people who aren't--a questioning of whether you should hide the fact that you're tripping by attempting at normal conversation, OR just tell the people you're with what's going on and have the weight lifted off of your shoulders. Of course, you could also just not tell them what's going on and act however you are actually feeling, without holding back; in that case, they'll either figure it out or they won't.
I guess an interesting thing about psychedelics is that when you go back to every day life you can't help but realize that some such feelings are ones that you have always experienced and just never thought about. I remember one particular day in class last semester.. I realized I was insanely uncomfortable. A weird day I guess. And I couldn't help but get that feeling. I felt so strange and just like I was watching this weird room full of people sitting in rows and I didn't understand how everyone was just doing this and they were fine. I mean everyone gets that sometimes--so I just felt really separate at the time. I was sitting with my friends because I thought I should. But I wasn't sure if I should break the barrier and tell them that I felt really really weird (because honestly it was really overwhelming at the time) or just try to suppress it and pretend that I felt normal and talk to them normally. I didn't really want to talk to them about it at all. But the only other option was to try to calm down--which wasn't working. So pretty much, I avoided talking to them as much as possible.
Whatever, it's just funny because I remember tripping and feeling really confused sometimes because I felt like there was no way to be natural. I could NOT hold back--but then I would be really aware of it and it would make me feel like I have to be alone. Or i COULD hold back, but that was even harder and made me feel like I might explode if I didn't go somewhere by myself. Wait, this isn't even making sense anymore. But I'm saying it happens a lot more than only when I'm tripping.
Too bad I'm awful with words.
(title=elliott.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
See that? ^^^ up there? I really wish more people did that....but....not on facebook. xanga though. xanga. But then there's that whole thing if 'adults'...uh...'parents' did it, then I wouldn't like it. I think I'm trying to tighten the grip on being a kid. Maybe weird.
ReplyDeleteIf I were a person that--no no no.
ok. How about....(thanks for the bishop house directions by the way!)...we say that the moral of some situations--not necessarily this one, but I think...a little...actually I didn't even consider it, it's a guess--that when we 'get over' something and 'realize' whatsup...or WHY we did things, or thought about things...or the way we felt about things, that it's tough to choose what to think.
let me try to explain? with you...ok. So you have these feelings that you're uncomfortable, and then one day you realized that you've always had them. Which means that all the days before the realization you just sorta accepted them? (logic? but...it's just an explanation for one in a million scenarios--------WHAT I'm doing is just trying to link it with that I figured out [experience-d] yesterday. Or was it a week ago?----------SO what's going on is, you realize the truth about things, and now you're confused whether or not to choose path A (let path A be the mindset before realization) or path B (after realization). Either choice could be a waste of time entirely...
eh...you're better learned in this area than people. if anything YOU should be the one with the solution to your recent discovery. and let me know.
the bishop house <-- it's funny (not funny, its just something) because I pictured the chess piece. wouldn't that be more appropriate? if the building was shaped like a bishop. or A bishop. reminded me of this game i once downloaded back when AOL was king...i can't find it because it was never completed. was a demo, lame. you could buy these skeleton keys and go into houses and open drawers and take cloaks and money. and then at night these assassins would come out and kill you...EVEN the guards! the guards were elite as hell, but even they fell--didn't matter. you just loot their carcasses once their dead.
ya know?
spell fail
ReplyDeleteWelll well i don't know. =/ The realization doesn't have anything to do with it. I think. At least not in the way I meant. See, when I was experiencing this day in class, and I wasn't sure if I should suppress it or just tell people I felt uncomfortable, the fact that I related it to a tripping experience didn't mean that I wasn't in the same exact dilemma. The realization didn't give me any options that I didn't already have.. it just.. made me realize them. Eh?
ReplyDeleteHaha. I like skeleton keys in games.
Well...if you suppressed it the first time, you could just not suppress it the next time and see what happens...
ReplyDeletemaybe?
there's so much music coming out this year.
take a placebo i dont know